How To Start Visiting Colleges With Your Teen

Visiting colleges is my favorite way to make the concept of college real for your teen, and for them to actually start to envision themself on a college campus, living their dream day on repeat (we both know that college will be full of ups and downs, of course, but this dreamy state is totally fine in the beginning stages of the process.) 

Here are my best quick-start tips to visiting colleges in a way that gets your teen excited about the college process:

1. Get your teen on a low-stakes college tour.

   This should be local, or where you are traveling anyway for another reason. Tell them this is just a “practice run” to see what it's like to visit a college and for them to start to develop their list of must-haves. I don’t recommend doing an expensive trip right out of the gate with the sole purpose of seeing colleges. That is a lot of pressure on them. But if you are visiting grandparents in another city or state anyway? Perfect excuse to squeeze in a visit to a nearby college or university.

2. Skip the Ivy League.

   Now, before you get all huffy, hear me out. If you have a tip top performer that you think has a shot at the colleges that deny 90%+ of their applicants, then I don’t mean skip visiting Ivy League colleges (or colleges of similar selectivity like Stanford, MIT, Cal Tech, or Georgetown) altogether, but don’t have them be the first colleges you visit. Start with colleges in which you think they have a very good shot at being admitted. These initial visits should be a confidence booster, and they should leave thinking, wow, I’m excited about college, not, wow, that was so stressful–I will never get in there. 

3. Do the official visit with the Admission Office.

   Sometimes my students will tell me about a visit they did to a college. When I dig in deeper and ask more questions it becomes clear that they did a drive-by and didn’t get out of the car. While I understand an occasional “we are in the area let’s just see what this college looks like” visit, that’s not a “real” college visit. An “official visit” with the admission office usually takes at least two to three hours and includes an information session and a campus tour. The best part of a college visit is meeting students and admissions officers and hearing their perspective, and feeling the energy of the people on campus. While building aesthetics are nice-to-have, they do not make or break a college experience. Bonus if you spend some free time wandering and observing outside of the tour, like grabbing a coffee in the campus center and checking out the vibe.  

4. Do not ask embarrassing questions of the tour guide.

   Depending on your personality, I know it can be so hard not to pepper them with questions, because you are excited and interested (all good things). But please hit pause on most of your questions for now. This initial information and experience should be your teen’s to take in. Whether you think so or not, their experience will be colored by your questions/thoughts/opinions. Taking a step back and being a bit quieter than usual will allow them to step up and take ownership of the visit experience, when they're ready. They might not be ready on their first visit, or even their fifth, but give them the space and opportunity regardless. This is very related to my final point:

5. Let your student give you their thoughts and feedback on a college before you share.

   It is so easy (because you’re excited and interested!) to steamroll their emerging thoughts with your own opinions. Keep your opinions to a minimum while your teen is formulating their own criteria and must-haves. When you leave the visit, zip your lips except to simply ask, what did you think?

I’m excited for you to dive into this part of the college process. It’s arguably the most fun part, and also an important part of figuring out what your teen’s must-haves and wishes are to thrive in their college experience. Happy visiting!